Welcome 2011. It's good to have you :)

We all have those crummy days... and yesterday just happened to be one of mine.  A couple of different things happened that really made me sad. {One involved a barely-alive mouse who was suffering and needed to be put out of its misery.  I know, I know- it's ridiculous. But being a former owner of numerous hamsters- my favorites being GusGus and Duncan- I have a soft spot in my heart for rodents. And he was a cute little thing. Plus, I cry sometimes just at the thought of an animal suffering- so this wasn't good.)  The other "occurrence" was something I had to do that required me to dig up a lot of buried, unpleasant memories and feelings from years ago.

2005 was, without a doubt, the hardest, most painful year of my life.  There's no need to go into any details- I know that everyone has had terrible things that they've gone through- many I'm sure that were much worse than mine.  So I don't want to make this a pity party.  But anytime I think back on that year, I can just feel the sadness, depression, betrayal, lonliness that I experienced.  But in the same breath, I can also say that it was the most wonderful year of growing with my Savior.  Even though I felt hopeless and worthless and disappointment in some of my relationships, I knew I was loved and being carried through it all by my Jesus.  I remember thinking that I would never fully heal, and I would never be the same person that I had been before.  But it's amazing how God can mend a broken heart and bring about His plans to be even better than what I had planned for myself. 

Coming into 2011, it's almost like that time in my life is a bizarre dream- like I can't believe it really happened.  The heaviness I felt has been completely lifted, and I truly feel like He's redeemed my whole "story".  I know there will be more heartache to come in my future, but I also know He has countless blessings to come as well.  I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for Nick and me :)
*{And hopefully it will involve a lot more sewing, more frequently cooking, running more miles, being more organized, and being more deliberate about quiet time. Just in case you were expecting this to be about resolutions, I decided to slip those in :)  Those are just a few of the things I'd like to work on in the coming year!}